You Know You’re a Server When..

By The Blonde

– You have an endless supply of ones, fives, etc. People always come to you to break twenties and if you’re young enough, the bank assumes you’re a stripper.

– Friends have a love/hate relationship with eating out in your company. Love because you can split the check and calculate the tip in the blink of an eye. Hate because you tend to say things like, ‘Oh.. I wouldn’t have done that” or, “No, see, she’s just ringing in their food and then she’s going to run get outs, don’t worry!”

– Other servers/bartenders love you. If you’re not an asshole, you tip well, stack the plates, and generally try to act the way you wish your customers did.

– You pretty consistently smell like onions and french fries. You attract very strange people of the opposite sex for that reason.

– Endless supply of pens. If you can’t find one, you have another and you’ll probably find the original later that night behind your ear or in your ponytail.

– If you’ve done it long enough, you develop a vice to deal with the total lack of faith you now have in humanity. Smoking, drinking, arts and crafts, what have you.

Random thoughts of the night, luckily I actually jotted them down tonight.

Reprinted with permission from On Station Two.

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